CHOICES
Young Children & Emergent Readers & Older Students
1. Choices should be limited to 2- "Do you want to go to bed in 10 minutes or in 5 minutes?"
2. Would you like 1 pancake or 2 pancakes?
3. Allow the child to choose because this gives them a sense of control. It is often a good way to avoid power struggles.
THERE IS NO CHOICE IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION!
Choices can be more liberal. For instance, you may have a discussion about bedtime -"Would you like to have a bedtime of 8PM or 8:15 PM?"
Giving the child the opportunity to choose helps them own the situation when questions arise. Choices continue to be the foundation of a good democratic parenting style. If we let our children make bad choices under our watch and guide them in the learning process with the values of each individual family then the child truly knows who he is and wants to be. He has not been brain washed, manipulated or overly controlled. He is allowed to believe for him/herself instead of for his parents.
When problems arise with the childs choice the wise parent may have a discussion about the choice the child made and help the child make a better choice or adjustment. When the choice turns out to be good the wise parent may acknowledge it with the child. However, there are some things about which there can be no choice-determine what those non-negotiable items are and be sure your child understands the limits. You are the parent. Giving choices builds trust for later years.